Nico Goes Insane
by Naddalemur4realzdistime
Summary: Something's wrong with Nico. Nobody knows what. Follow the gang as they attempt to make Nico normal again (or as normal as Nico can be). Expect the laws of logic to be broken repeatedly for the sake of humor. The first chapter is short, but not rest of them.
1. An Important Question

**I'm sorry this chapter is so short. The others are longer!**

"Hey, Percy!" Nico yelled across the room. Startled, Percy looked up from his por- er, his book. "I have a question," the younger demigod said as Percy hastily stowed the "book" under the table. "Well, a lot of questions actually," Nico added as an afterthought. "Well, what are they?" Percy asked. "Okay, first one," Nico said, taking a deep breath to ready himself.

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" Nico inquired.

Percy was momentarily speechless. He stared at Cabin 13's counselor for a few seconds, expecting him to break out in laughter, but the look on Nico's face was dead serious. "Um, uh, well," Percy fumbled, trying to think of a response. "Um, 42, of course," he finally spat out. "Hmm," Nico said. "Very interesting." Then he suddenly began a fit of maniacal laughter.

Percy knew something was wrong. Nico didn't usually act quite like this. He came pretty close a few times, but evil laughter just wasn't his style.

Nico's fit of laughing got louder and louder until he started choking, but didn't stop laughing. Annabetgh came over, and, using her brilliant mind, assessed the situation. In the same amount of time, she devised a genius plan. "SHUT UP," she said comandingly, slapping Nico in the face as his cheeks turned blue.

He bolted upright quite suddenly. "Why does everything smell purple?" he asked Percy dazedly before falling unconscious.


	2. Assistance From Beyond

**First off, a big thanks to Clavinerise and M0RKIESTAR, who are my first two followers; ericavaldez889, who was the first to favorite my story; and Clavinerise again for the first review. This chapter will be longer!**

There was really nothing to it. Nico had simply lost his mind. Now, who's the expert on madness here? Dionysus. Unfortunately, Mr.D was not there at the moment. So, Percy and Annabeth decided to talk to Chiron. Unfortunately, Chiron was not there at the moment. So, Percy and Annabeth decided to talk to the Oracle (AKA Rachel). Unfortunately – yup, you guessed it – Rachel wasn't there at the moment. It was shaping up to be quite the wild goose chase.

Percy groaned. Nico hadn't woken up since declaring that he smelled purple, although he had muttered things in his sleep, such as, "I can do it NINE times" and "The river spares no stripy ones". Annabeth had insisted that Nico went everywhere they did, and so Percy had to drag Hades' unconscious son around on Leo's most recent innovation, a bed with wheels on it. An amazing, completely original invention to be sure. Nico didn't weigh much, and Percy was pretty strong, but they'd been searching for hours. So far, they hadn't found anyone, and Percy was getting tired.

"Annabeth," he groaned. "There's nobody here." Annabeth wouldn't give up. She might have given up if she'd realised it was Labor Day and everyone was taking the day off, but her calendar had recently been eaten by a stuffed leopard head. "We can't give up," she said, oblivious to Percy's sufferings. "If Nico goes crazy forever, there's a high chance that the earth's core will collapse and everyone will die."

Percy stared at her, bewildered. "What makes you think that?" he asked. Annabeth shrugged. "It makes for more suspense."

Suddenly Nico bolted upright, shouting about poorly drawn bananas. He tipped forward, upending the Cushiony-Square-Bit-With-Movy-Circle-Bits-Glued-On (as Leo had so brilliantly named his bed with wheels) so that he fell off on top of Percy.

Annabeth helped Percy up. Nico stood up himself. "HI GUYS!" he screamed. "Um… do you know how to whisper?" Percy asked. "NO!" Nico yelled, impossibly loud. Then he suddenly curled up in a ball on the floor, ranting about cake. Annabeth and Percy stared at him. "He really has issues," said Captain Obvi- er, Annabeth. Percy was nodding his head when suddenly a spirit appeared before them.

"I AM THE GREAT GOD LUKE," the spirit said majestically. Actually, it was Luke (well, his ghost). "Um… last I checked, you're not a God," Percy pointed out. "Yes I am," Luke insisted. "I'm the God of… um… cool explosions!" Nobody cared enough to argue with him.

"Why are you here?" Annabeth asked. "I thought you wanted to reincarnate and get to the Isle of the Blest." Luke smiled. "Yeah, but it's way more fun being a ghost and messing with peoples' lives." Percy privately agreed. There were a few people he'd like to haunt when he died.

"Anyway, I thought you needed help," Luke said. "And because I'm supposed to have become good when I died, and also because this FanFic (Percy and Annabeth wondered what a FanFic was) isn't above some deus ex machina every now and then, I'm here to assist you."

"Can you tell me what's wrong with Nico?" Percy asked. Luke looked down at Nico. He was still talking about cake. "First off we need to get him to shut up," the ghost muttered to himself. "The cake is a lie!" he yelled. Nico instantly froze up, all cognitive faculties focused on deciphering the mystery of this new revelation.

"I don't know what's up with him," Luke confessed. "I mean, for somebody to buy happy meals for ghosts and spirits like me, you've gotta be pretty messed up already. But I've seen this guy in the underworld before, and he's never like this. But I do know somebody who can help him."

"Who?" Percy and Annabeth asked eagerly in unison. "YO MAMA," he said dramatically.


	3. APOLLO MAN TO THE RESCUE

**Hello again! I wasn't going to update again today, but the random picture of a puppy I found online was so cute. So you have a cute little dog to thank for this chapter and the next few. I'm only able to update on weekends, so I suppose I'll have to squeeze as much insanity as possible into this chapter. Hmm… where did I put that extra crack?**

There was a long pause. "My mama?" Percy gasped out finally. "No, YOUR MAMA," Luke said, gesturing towards Annabeth. "Athena. She'll know what's going on." And so, the three (oh, and Nico, still trying to figure out just _how_ the cake ever became a lie) set off for an AADVENTUUUURREE! They traveled all across the country, zigzagging from state to state for reasons unknown, fighting various foes and having some heartwarming moments thrown in for good measure, until finally they made it back where they started.

Luke glid (er, glided, er, glode? What's the past tense for glide!?) through the door and the other adventure-er-er…ers followed. "I'm sorry," said the receptionist. "But I'm afraid you can't get on the elevator." "Why not?" Annabeth challenged. "Because I'm GANDALF!" the man said, transforming into a tall wizard with a long white beard. "And you SHALL NOT PASS!" But for better or for worse, Nico chose that time to come out of the coma. "Dumbledore!?" Nico gasped, staring up at the wizard.

"I'm not-" Gandalf said, but he was interrupted by our friendly neighborhood Apollo, who smashed through the window behind the wizard with his solar sports car. "APOLLO MAN TO THE RESCUE!" he yelled. The car landed on top of Gandalf, crushing him completely. Apollo got out of the car, making up a haiku off the top of his head.

"You guys are rescued.

You should be thanking me cuz

I just saved your butts."

"Oooh, haiku time!?" Nico yelled in excitement. "Can I join?" Luke, Percy, and Annabeth all started to object, but Apollo broke in. "Why not?" the sun god said. Nico cleared his throat.

"Oops I broke your cat

I glued it to my face ha

I smell anchovies."

Nico looked around expectantly. Even Apollo recognized how terrible Nico's poem was. "Um… APOLLO MAN AWAY!" he said, magically flying out the window. "Umm.." Percy said, breaking the silence. "Let's get in the elevator now, shall we?"

But suddenly, the world shook. The ground beneath opened up, and the entire building fell in. The only reason everyone survived was because the story wouldn't be interesting if they did. "Now how will we get to Olympus?" Annabeth asked (because somebody had to ask that), standing on the edge of the enormous crack in the ground. Suddenly, in a brief moment of clarity, Nico yelled out, "Apollo's car!" The solar sports car had, indeed, survived, and it was balanced haphazardly on the very edge of the abyss.

Nico ran to get inside. "Wait!" Percy yelled. "You're only thirteen! You can't drive!" But Nico didn't care – in act, when he saw Annabeth and Percy were just standing there, he grabbed the and pulled them inside. Luke decided to follow at a safe distance. He may be a ghost, but you never know with underage drivers steering the sun.

Unfortunately, just as they lifted off, the laws of reality ensued. The sun suddenly became hot, and Nico's driving didn't help. He swerved here and there across the sky, lighting everything within a 30-foot radius ablaze. Percy looked back nervously at the burning city they left behind. Nico was having tons of fun, though. "Ooh, what does this button do?" he said, pressing a large red button clearly marked **_DO NOT PRESS_**_._The car immediately accelerated to breakneck speed.

Within three seconds the solar sports car was on Mount Olympus. Luckily, Olympus was immune to its flames. Everyone got out, gasping. "Never again," Percy heaved. They looked around. "What's going on?" asked Annabeth. It appeared that before them was an enormous stage. There was a large crowd of gods in the stands.

Then Athena stepped onstage. "Hello, gods and goddesses, and welcome to _Olympus's Got Talent! _The show where random people compete to win prizes!" The crowd cheered. "There's your mom!" Percy whispered, nudging Annabeth. "We need to get her attention!"

"Our normal contestants are currently preoccupied with North America," Athena continued. "I believe the entire continent has recently went up in flames. So, who wants to volunteer?" Every god and goddess in the room raised their hand. Nico's hand shot up, too, and he started screaming, "ME! ME! ME! ME!" Athena looked over at him. "How about that enthusiastic young man in the back?" Athena said, probably to get Nico to shut up.

"Can my friends come too?" Nico asked, climbing up onto the stage. "Um, it depends how many," Athena said cautiously, not wanting her eardrums blown out. "Um…" Nico counted. "One… two… um… what… what comes next? DON'T TELL ME! Umm… oh yeah! One, two, sixty-four!" "You mean three, idiot," one person in the crowd yelled, unaware of Nico's current position of COMPLETELY INSANE. "Oh yeah, three!" he corrected cheerfully. Then Luke reached Olympus (he'd been floating there with his ghostly POWERZ OF AWESOME.)

"What's going on?" the ghost asked. Nico noticed him in the back. "Oh, no, four!" he said. "Alright," Athena said. "Four spots taken, twelve spots left!" Immediately every one of the 12 major gods (except Athena, of course) crowded onstage. "One more spot!" Athena yelled. "Ooh! I know! What about my dad?" Nico asked. As if on que, Hades appeared. "Well folks, that's it! Now, let the games begin!"

**DUN DUN DUH!**

**I promise you there is a storyline in here, a very, very vague storyline. OKAY. I'll probably have, like, three more chapters or something today X3**


	4. The Game Show of DOOM

"Let's get this show on the road!" Athena said into her microphone. "We'll be doing this by alphabetical order, so first up is Anna-" but Nico interrupted. "WAIT! I have a challenge!" Athena stared at the boy incredulously. "I-what!?" "Yes!" he yelled. "I challenge you to a duel for show host!"

And so, instead of Annabeth's talents, everyone gathered to watch the epic duel. "You'll never defeat me!" Athena said. "Give up! I'm serious, I have your best interests in heart." But then Nico did something completely unexpected in every way, shape and form.

He jumped off the edge of the mountain.

"Meh, serves him right," Athena said. But Annabeth had other ideas. "Mother, save him! He's completely insane and he has no idea what he's doing!" Annabeth pushed her mother off the edge of the mountain. "Fine! I'll save Captain Crazy!" Athena said, transforming into an owl and grabbing Nico. She set him safely back on Olympus. "Ya happy?" she said, transforming back into a goddess.

"Falcon… PAWNCH!" Nico yelled, punching Athena off the mountain somehow.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUU" she said as she fell. She hit the ground. A few seconds later, she yelled up, "I'M OKAY!" Nico grinned. "I won!" he said happily. "I have some changes to the rules! The winner of the show becomes head god!"

Everyone stared at the mentally damaged, grinning boy. The proposition was ludicrous. But before anyone could object, he yelled out, "I WIN THE CONTEST!" and he ran up to Zeus, grabbing the god's Master Bolt. Then he snatched Posiedon's trident and his father's Invisibility Helmet.

"Oh, crap," Luke said. "He's not just insane, he's evil." Then Nico turned invisible, zapping gods left and right. "I AM MASTER! I RULE ALL!" he screamed. "I have an idea," Annabeth said. "But it's pretty dangerous." Then she walked up to the source of the lightning and randomly slapped the air. Her hand made contact with Nico's face by random chance. Suddenly, everything was back to normal. The Big Three had their weapons back, and Athena was back on top of the mountain, dazed but unhurt. Nico was standing in the middle of the stage. Dionysus walked up. "It's come to my attention that this boy is insane," he said. Everyone on earth nodded. "Well, I have the perfect cure," he said, and he whacked Nico on the head with a wine bottle. Nico blinked. "What happened?"

But I don't want to end the story in four chapters, so Athena's wrath comes into play.

"I want revenge!" she yelled. She had forgotten all prospects of "wisdom". She grabbed one of Mr.D's spare wine bottles and brought it down hard on Nico. Soon every god and goddess was grabbing wine bottles and smashing them against poor Nico's head. "Wait!" Percy yelled. "We need him to be completely normal!" But the gods paid no heed. By the time they were finished, Nico was dizzy and unresponsive, and for some reason birds flew around his head. Finally he got his bearings, shook his head, and looked at Luke. "Are you my mommy?" he asked.

Annabeth searched frantically for a wine bottle. "I need a bottle to make him normal!" she yelled. "Sorry, all out," Dionysus said. Annabeth fell to her knees. She looked up into the sky. It suddenly started raining. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO!" she yelled dramatically.

**Looks like that didn't end well. I guess everyone will have to find another way to make him normal. I am literally just making this up as I go. I actually don't allow pre-planning when writing this kind of story XD**


	5. Z0MG ATTACK 0F T3H 3V1L 5H1PP3R5

**Hi guys! So I have discovered that I can, in fact, update on weekdays. Yay! I'll try to have a couple more up tonight. This chapter is a bit more action, but chapter 5 will be pure crackfic. For instance, Hades in a dress. Having getting that picture out of your head while you read! Oh, and thanks for all the cookies. No seriously, I got so many cookies I couldn't nomnom them all XD Somebody even gave me ambrosia. It made me spontaneously combust, though.**

Any ideas?" Percy asked. Luke and Annabeth shook their respective heads. Nico had began babbling about his third grade science fair project, which was ufortunately 'Which Toilet Paper Brand is the Softest?'. After the whole game show fiasco, they had been forcefully 'removed' from Mount Olympus. Actually, they'd all been killed (except Luke, of course) and they were now standing on the banks of the River Sticks (the River Styx's retarded little brother.) "Wait, there's somebody," Annabeth said, pointing.

Charon arrived at the edge of the river. "G0LD!1!1" he screamed. "G1MM3 G0LD N0085!11!1!" Luke stared uneasily at the ferryman of the dead. "He's... not usually like this," he said uneasily. "Y U N0 G1MM3 G0LD1?" Charon asked loudly. "Um, we don't have gold," Percy explained. "We do have a Visa credit card, though." Charon laughed maniacally. "LOLOLLOLOLLLOOL!1! U N0085!1!1!1 W3 D0NT ACC3PT V15A H3R3 U SH00D N0 TH !1!1" "Why is he using 1337speak? And calling us n00bz?" Percy asked. "No idea," Luke responded. There was an uneasy silence. "Look, why don't we just take the boat," Annabeth whispered, but Charon overheard. "WUT!1!1 U WUNNA 5T33L MAH 5H1P!1!1 U M3AN135!11!1" he jumped off the ship and collapsed on the riverbank, sucking his thumb and calling the group 'b1g bull135' and '5tup1d tr0ll5'. "Umm... let's go, shall we?" Percy said. They pushed Nico on the boat and set off.

"There are many dangers here," Luke warned. "This river is reserved for the lowest of the low. The River Sticks is where they take away the souls of..." he gulped. "Insane fangirls." There was a shocked silence. Even Nico's eyes widened as he processed the information. "Oh gods," Annabeth said quietly. "There's more," Luke said. "Patrolling these waters are gaurdians of the dead even worse than Cerberus. Shippers."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with shipping," Percy said reasonably. "These aren't normal shippers," Luke objected. "These shippers will tear apart those who oppose their ship. And if they catch us, they'd probably do something like force us to mate." Of course, everyone was thinking the same thing: the way their luck was going, there were probably evil shippers just around the corner. Unfortunately, they were right. "Look!" a shrill voice yelled. Percy turned. There was an ernourmous boat sailing the River Sticks behind them. "Oh no," Percy breathed. The ship was manned entirely by fangirls with looks of malice in their eyes. It passed by them and they caught a glimpse of the writing on the side in big, blue letters: _The Great Ship Percabeth_.

"Well, this one isn't so bad..." Percy said uncertainly. "At least it's canon." Suddenly, ropes flew down from the ship, grappling around Annabeth and Percy. It pulled them on deck. Luke started to go after them, but something made him stop. He breathed something in a frightened tone and glid (Glided? Glode? Glud? GLAD!? I still have trouble with this DX) out of Percy's line of sight. "We have them!" a voice yelled triumphantly. The crowd parted to reveal another fangirl, the most insane of all. Percy figured she was the captain. "Finally, we have Percy and Annabeth together! Now we can prove those other stupid ships who's boss!" The crowd of Percabethians cheered in agreement. "Now! When will the reproduction begin?" the captain inquired. Percy and Annabeth stared at each other. "Do you mea-"

"Yes!" interrupted the captain. "You must mate immediately! And you must to it here and now so we may study the process!

"Um, we don't think we're far enough in our relationship, solid as it is, to do, um, that," Annabeth began, choosing her words carefully.

"Nonsense!" The captain objected. "Do it now!" Frotunately, they were saved from having children by a shrill battle cry. "PERCICO FOREVER!" somebody screamed. The captain looked over her prisoner's heads with malice in her eyes. "Crew," she said, hoisting a sword from her belt, "the Percico shippers are here." The crew immediately drew their weapons. Percy and Annabeth turned so they were facing the same directionnas the Percabethians.

Another huge crew ship, this time with the words _S..S. Percico_ painted on the sides, was approaching the _Percabeth_ from behind. Percy was shocked by the size of the ship; were there really that many people who wanted him and Nico to be together? The _Percico_ puled up beside its enemy. "Hey," Annabeth noted. "There's Nico." She was right. The Perciconians had snatched Nico up from the small ferry, and he stood within their ranks, looking fairly traumatised.

The _Percico_ stopped moving right beside the _Percabeth_, close enough to board. "So," the _S. S. Percico_'s captain said, adressing her counterpart on the _Percabeth_. I see you have Percy. We have something you want, too." She pulled a Percabethian captive out of the crowd. "Hand Percy over now and nobody gets hurt." The _Percabeth_'s captain clenched her teeth. "Never." "Then we'll have to take him by force. CHARGE!" And the Perciconians ran onto the _Great Ship Percabeth._

The crews of each ship began coming at each other like crazy. Suddenly somebody grabbed Percy from behind and pulled him inside the captain's quarters, locking the door behind them. Annabeth yelled and pounded on the door. Percy's attacker, a member of the Percico's crew, paid no heed. She just laughed. "What a catch! I'll surely be promoted for this." Percy stared in horror as she pulled a dazed Nico from the shadows. She put her palm on the top of his head, then did the same to Percy. "Now KISS!" she commanded, attempting to force their faces against each other. Percy struggled.

Nico seemed to snap out of it and began struggling as well. The Perciconian laughed an evil laugh. "Now, I can finally-" The door burst open. Thalia stood there, armed with an imperial gold knife she had used to hack through the hinges. She whacked the boys' tormenter in the face with her elbow, knocking the fangirl unconscious. "C'mon," Thalia said. "Unless you want to be alone in here." Percy got the point immediately. He ran out of the captain's quarters, saying "Carry him," as he passed Thalia. Rolling her eyes, Thalia dragged Nico into the fray by the ankles.

The battle was still raging, but it was, if possible, even bigger. Percy realised that it was bigger: there was another ship anchored beside the _Percabeth_, _The Thalico's Dream_."Annabeth!" Percy said, catching up with his girlfriend. "Hey," Annabeth said, panting. "We need to get out of here." Thalia caught up with them, Nico slung over her shoulder. He ranting about space, of all things. "I know," Thalia said. "We can board the Dream while they're distracted with battle." "Well, what are we waiting for?" Percy asked. The girls nodded. They stealthily snuck aboard the _Thalico's Dream_, going completely unnoticed in the chaos. In fact, nobody even saw them until they were already onboard.

"Hey, they're stealing our ship!" One Thaliconian yelled. "Hurry!" Annabeth urged. "I'm going as fast as I can," Percy protested. For some reason, he was having trouble controlling this boat. "GET THEM!" the captain of the _Thalico's Dream_ commanded. The fangirls begnan clamoring to board the _Dream_ and intercept the thieves while the captains of all three ships fought on the _Percabeth_'s mast. The captain of the_ Percico_ took advantage of the chaos shove the Percabethian captain off the mast. She fell landing unconcious on the deck of the _Dream. _Suddenly the engine started up. The _Thalico's Dream_psed away like a motorboat, away from the other ships.


	6. My Little Hades: Death is Magic

**No offense to bronies here, but Hades becomes an insane crossdresser brony in this chapter. So yeah.**

The moment the _Thalico's Dream_ docked at the banks of the underworld, everyone knew something was wrong.

For instance, was the underworld really this... different? Everywhere they looked there were pink flowers. The trees, which looked like they had popped out of a book, were dottes with ripe, colorful fruit. The whole underworld was colored with birght, pastel blues, greens, pinks, and yellows. The cave roof was even painted blue in an attempt to imitate a bright, cloudless sky.

To make matters worse, there were rainbows pretty much everywhere you looked, and unicorns and ponies frolicked playfully. There were some televisions here and there, but it was broadcasting _My Little Pony_ 24/7, so everyone who wasn't a brony steered clear.

Luke glided (YES!) over to them and gagged. "It wasn't like this when I left," he said. Percy turned angrily toward him. "Why didn't you help us with those shippers?" he demanded.

"Hey, I was doing you a favor," the ghost responded. "I was holding off the Clarisse X Annabeth shippers. They already had one part of the equation." Everyone reading this immediately hid under the covers in fear, knowing that AnnabethXClarisse would haunt their darkest nightmares forever.

Thalia was about to say something when a dark shadow loomed over them. They turned around and saw the tall, imposing figure of...

Hades in a dress.

"Why hello children!" he greeted in a high-pitched falsetto. "Oh, I see you've brought Nicky-poo!"

Awkward silence mode, activate. Even Nico, who had been walking with them talking about space, stiffened and quieted down.

After a few moments, Annabeth broke the silence. "Umm... Nicky-poo?" She asked. "Why yes! Nicky-poo! Nico if you want!"

Percy, Luke and Thalia were trying not to laugh their heads off. Even for somebody who was currently whacko, Nico was mortified. Really, nobody could blame him. Not only was Hades calling his son "Nicky-poo", the guy was wearing a frilly pink dress with small plastic wings attached. The dress had a badly drawn picture of a horse taped on to the front, with the words "20% PERCENT COOLER" written in a barely legible scrawl.

"Oh, gods," Annabeth breathed. "He's become a brony." Now everyone knew something was really wrong. "Yes, yes, friendship is indeed magic, don't you agree?" Hades said cheerfully. "In fact, I declare you all my best friends! Best friends for ever! HOORAY!" he screamed.

"Um, correct me if I'm wrong," Thalia said. "But I don't think your average brony wears a dress. I think Hades is like a mega-crossdressing-super-ultra-crazy-brony-god or something."

"Oh, I'm the god of bronies!" Hades confirmed delightedly. Nico stared at him in complete silence. The shock of seeing the lord of the underworld, A.K.A. his father, wearing a dress and declaring himself everyone's BFF, had apparently shocked Nico so badly he had gone back to normal. If anyone had to chance a guess at what was going through his head right now, it would go a little like this:

OMGPWTFBBQ-what's-going-on-somebody-do-something-my-dad's-insane-no-wait-i'm-insane-no-wait-i-was-insane-but-now-i'm-cured-that's-good-but-holy- #$%-i-just-remembered-i-was-cured-because-my-dad's-insane-and-he's-a-mega-crossdressing-super-ultra-crazy-brony-god-not-good-at-all-crap-how-do-i-fix-this-i-don't-think-i-can-maybe-i-should-jump-into-the-river-no-wait-that-would-bring-me-right-back-here-CRAP

Now read that last paragraph without taking a breath, and that about sums up Nico's thoughts.

"Wait, I have an idea," Annabeth said. She stepped up to Hades and slapped him in the face, yelling, "GO BACK TO NORMAL, IDIOT!"

And Hades did just that.

The color of the dress changed from pink to black as it morphed into a robe. His wings fell of and crumpled to ashes on the ground. The unicorns and ponies exploded in a MAGICAL EPIC RAINBOW EXPLOSION OF AWESOMENESS. The tvs stopped broadcasting MLP and began broadcasting the Gruesome Death Channel. The bronies groaned in protest, but then they were magically transported to the Fields of Bronyness (imagine standing in a wheat field in Kansas forever... with BRONIES).

Bit by bit, Hades' magical pony underworld fell apart. Then suddenly the floor creaked. Hades looked up, now completely himself again. "Well, gotta go," he said quickly. "I built this place over Tartarus."

"Kinda terrible judgement on your part," Luke commented. "Well, I was insane," Hades said. Now, grab my hands and we'll shadow travel away." He magically sprouted a third hand. (Why? BECAUSE PLOTHOLES) Thalie grabbed onto him, but before anyone could go anywhere, the floor split apart. DUN DUN DUH.

All anyone had time to say were things like "oh screw it" or "crap" (Hades was a bit more colorful) before they were sucked into Tartarus. "Deja vu!" Percy screamed as they plummeted to the inky depths below.

**CLIFFHANGERS!*le gasp!***


	7. ASPLOSIONZ

Now, those who know their mythology should know that the fall to Tartarus is about nine days and nine nights worth of falling. So it must have been pretty boring, eh? Well, Nico here, who was temporarily cured of insanity, tried to keep up morale by telling some stories. Unfortunately the more stories he told, the crazier the stories got, and the less stable his recently stablized brain got. THESE... ARE THOSE STORIES.

**Story #1: Nico steals the sun (again)**

One day Nico was out being Nico when he saw Apollo man's solar sports car. Well, naturaly he got in the car and started pressing random buttons. But when Zeus saw Nico flying too close too Olympus, he was all like, "AWWW, GURL! You can't fly there, you should know dat N00BZ!"

And then he threw his AWESOME LIGHTNING BOLT OF AWESOME at the car and it fell all the way to the River Styx. And then Tyson was all like, "BAD ZEUS!" and he threw a door at Mount Olympus, but it missed and hit some pea soup.

**Story #2: The curse of the asploding flashlight**

So one day Percy was in the swimming pool (COOL TIME, POOL TIME!) when a magical flashlight jumped on the diving board like BOINGBOINGBOING and landed in the water so hard that all the swimmin ppls were like "OH NO WE DEDZ" and then then they died.

11 "

But then Percy was all like "I WILL HAVE MY REVEGE" and he went up to the flashlight and said "FUS RO DAH" and the magical wordz made the flashlight ASPLODE. (Not _explode,_ but _asplode_. There's a difference, people.)

**Story #3: Annabeth and the stolen carrot**

One day Annabeth was doing some stuff when Nico came up and STOLE HER CARROTZ. And Annabeth heard the carrot calling out to her like "HALP" and so she was like "seems legit" and she went to halp him her poor little carrot.

So when she reached Nico he was like "MUAHAHA TOO BAD YOU DON'T KNOW MY SECRET WEAKNESS IS DORA!" So Annabeth got a photograph of Dora the explorer and threw it at him. But Nico said "Oh sorz I baked your carrot into a carrot cake but here you go."

But Annabeth said "It's okay, I didn't want it anyway." So she threw the carrot cake off a cliff and Nico jumped off it and the carrot cake collided with Nico in midair and they both ASPLODED.

**Story #5: Dr. di Angelo**

One day Nico got bored so he went to the Art History Museum and got a PhD from Zoidberg. Then he went and taught a class and he was all like "I AM DR. DI ANGELO BOW DOWN TO ME AND GIMME ALL UR CARROTZ" and they did and Nico made a carrot cake and it asploded.

**Story #6: Grover eats a tin can**

ONE DAY GROVER ATE A TIN CAN THE END


End file.
